


The Worst Most Despair Inducing Trip Around Town in Human History

by enoshimalovemail



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Despair, F/F, sexual themes (nothing explicit though), tw for alcohol and drugs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-05
Updated: 2017-07-05
Packaged: 2018-11-23 16:37:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11406336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enoshimalovemail/pseuds/enoshimalovemail
Summary: At midnight, everything was normal. Junko's phone was perfectly fine. Mikan had never had any non prescription drug before. Ibuki didn't know how to drive a car. Sayaka had never broken or sprained a bone in her body. And Mukuro had never even thought about actually, seriously hurting Junko.But a lot changes in four hours.And by 4am, Junko's phone is down a sewage grate. Mikan was high off her ass. Ibuki still didn't know how to drive, but that didn't stop her from driving anyways. Sayaka couldn't even move her ankle. And Mukuro was beating the ever loving shit out of her sister.





	The Worst Most Despair Inducing Trip Around Town in Human History

**Author's Note:**

> uuuhuhhuhuhhhhh its almost 1am tell me if theres any mistakes or whatever im not proofreading this mother fucker also hey look an actual serious fic wow its been like a year since ive done one of those!

Mukuro never thought she could ever physically harm Junko. Well, she was certainly able to…I mean, Junko could be easily beat up, but Mukuro never thought she’d ever get so mad at Junko she’d actually do it. And yet, there she was, slamming her sisters face into ground. Junko’s screams of agony pierced the night. As did Mukuro’s angry grunts and Mikan’s sobs.

Now, if it were any other time, this situation probably would’ve made Sayaka piss her fucking pants. But it was 4am and she was so high that she could not possibly feel any emotions other than confusion and hunger. So instead Sayaka just sighed and laid down on the grass as Mukuro beat the ever loving fuck out of Junko.  
“Hey wha- hey wait where is Ibuki even?” She asked, as if Junko didn’t sound like her limbs were being ripped apart.

Mikan kept on crying but through her sobs she weakly replied, “I don’t-don’t even mmm-member…er, remember…” Whatever sound mikan was making, it wasn’t pleasant. She continued on, “I…I hate, I hate the-the pa-, the park.”

-

Junko Enoshima always had the best stories. Every one of her stories was wild and crazy, and if you didn’t know Junko very well, you probably wouldn’t believe a single one of them. You especially wouldn’t believe the one Junko liked to call “The Worst Most Despair Inducing Trip Around Town in Human History.” That story told of the night Junko threw a party and started a chain of events that led up to Mukuro beating the shit out of her at 4am in the middle of a park.

The night started just like any other Junko party did. Mukuro was already exhausted from helping set up the party, the shitty music blared in her ears, and more people piled in and began creating even more noise. Mukuro sat on top of the counter where all the drinks were spread out. In Mukuro’s opinion, this was the absolute best spot to be in at a party. When you sit next to all the alcohol, you tend to see the best shit, and you may or may not get to control whether some you like or dislike gets way too hammered or not. Not to mention the fact that Mukuro didn’t even have to get up to fill up her cup.

So far the night wasn’t going so bad. Mukuro wasn’t particularly enjoying herself but at least she wasn’t wishing she were dead yet.

And then Sonia walked in.

Ok now Mukuro was wishing she were dead.

Sonia was nice and one of the only four people that Mukuro actually talked to, but sometimes she gave Mukuro the creeps. Mukuro had always said that Sonia gave off this weird sense of sheer power that she just couldn’t explain but Mukuro is kinda a superstitious dumbass so who the fuck knows why Sonia actually seemed so creepy to her.

Sonia bounded over with excitement, and happily jumped right up on the counter next to Mukuro, knocking a few bottles over and into each other. She was already very excited about something and Mukuro knew she’d have to deal with whatever that was. Sonia grabbed onto Mukuro’s arm with both hands and shook it back and forth.

“Hey! Hey! Mukuro! Guess what! Guess what!” Sonia was usually excitable but when she was drunk she was even worse. She obviously drank before she came.

“What.” Mukuro responded flatly. This just caused Sonia to shake her even harder.

“Nooooooooo! Mukuro, you gotta guess!” Sonia answered.

Mukuro rolled her eyes. “Uhh…did you get super drunk before you got here?” She guessed.

Sonia giggled at this, and nodded, “Yes! But that’s not what I was going to tell you. I was going to tell you that I gave Maizono a ride here!” Before Mukuro could respond, Sonia continued, “And Ibuki as well, so I got the pleasure of being the driver to deliver the marijuana!” She seemed a bit too excited about this fact.

“Great.” Mukuro said before resting her attention back on the crowd in the kitchen. Unfortunately for Mukuro, the party before this had been the one where she had accidentally drunkenly admitted to Sonia that she had a huge crush on Sayaka. Of the four people that would actually regularly talk to Mukuro, she was glad it was Sonia, if anyone. Sure, Sonia would constantly bring it up and urge Mukuro to talk to Sayaka, but the only other friends Mukuro had were Ibuki, Mikan, and Junko. Maybe Sonia talked about it a little louder than she should sometimes but Mukuro knows that if Ibuki knew, she would probably tell Sayaka right away. And if Mikan knew? Well Junko would know in an instant. Mikan sucked at keeping secrets. And if Junko knew? Hell.

Mukuro had the worst friends.

Sonia leaned in close to Mukuro to whisper in her ear, “Maizono is like…really high already…you could easily get her to make out with you right now.” When Sonia finished, she pulled away slightly. Mukuro turned her head slowly to face Sonia.

“Are you suggesting I take advantage of her?”

“I guess.”

“Please don’t have any more drinks tonight.” Mukuro once again turned her head away from Sonia.

Sonia was silent for a moment, then she sighed. “Okay, now that I think about it, don’t do that. But at least talk to her!” She told Mukuro. Mukuro just shook her head in response causing Sonia to groan. “Aw come on Mukuro! I don’t understand why you think she won’t like you! You’re so cool! You have a knife collection! That’s fucking awesome!” Sonia hopped off the counter and grabbed Mukuro by the arm again, and began trying to pull Mukuro off the table with her. Keyword here is trying. “Just come sit and smoke weed in the living room with us! You don’t even have to smoke weed you can just sit in the circle and socialize!”

After Sonia pulled at her arm for a little longer, Mukuro finally sighed. “If I do will you stop touching me?” She asked.

Sonia beamed and nodded as she removed her hands from Mukuro’s arm.

“Fine.” Mukuro said as she slipped off the counter.

-

“We can’t have a sword fight I don’t even own a sword.”

“I can lend you one.”

“But it’s unfair you have so much experience with swords and I don’t.”

“I guess.”

“Okay what if I brought a knife to the sword fight instead?”

“You would lose.”

“But what if I had two knives.”

“I still think you would lose.”

“Alright fine, I’ll just tape a knife to a stick. That’s basically a sword, right?”

“That would be a spear.”

“Fuck you I’m bringing a gun to the sword fight.”

“That is very unfair Ikusaba, you can’t just bring a gun to a sword fight!”

“Okay how do we make this fair then?”

“Hm…maybe we just fight without any weapons.”

“Sounds good to me.”

“Alright then meet me in the woods behind the school after classes end on Tuesday.”

Mukuro nodded and both her and Peko turned their attention back to whoever was holding the main conversation in the circle at that moment.

_Alright I guess I have to beat up Pekoyama on Tuesday that’s great,_ Mukuro thought as she halfheartedly listened to Ibuki babble on about the greatest sub she’d ever eaten. It was just a meatball sub she accidentally dropped in a bowl of chicken soup. Apparently, it was delicious.

When Ibuki was finally done talking about her soggy soup flavored meatball sub, her attention was pulled in by something behind Mukuro. She screamed an unnecessarily loud greeting to Mikan and Junko. Mukuro turned around just in time to see Mikan jump. Mikan waved a hello to Ibuki and then to Mukuro, who nodded in response. Junko kept on walking for a few more steps, very focused on getting to wherever it was she was going, so Mikan continued to trail behind her. Until, of course, Junko realized someone had just said hello to her and she stopped in her tracks. And of course Mikan walked right into her back.

Junko looked over her shoulder at Mikan, who began squeaking out her apologies. Junko just ignored the apologies. “Wait, did Ibuki just say hi to me?” She asked. Mikan nodded. Junko turned her head back and then started walking backwards, right into Mikan.

Mukuro winced as she watched, knowing exactly what was going to happen.

One step backwards.

Two steps backwards.

Three steps backwards.

Thud.

And there it was. Wow, Mikan was getting better at not tripping! She took three whole steps before falling on her ass this time! That was impressive for her.

“Hey Ibuki! Did ya bring the fuckin’ good kush?” Junko asked, ignoring the fact that Mikan was using her to pull herself off the ground.

Ibuki pulled out at least 5 bags of weed out of god knows where and threw them all up in the air, whooping. “Fuckin’ blaze it up in this biotch!” Junko exclaimed. She linked arms with Mikan and started walking away again. “I’ll be back later I’m not wasted enough yet!” She yelled back at Ibuki as she disappeared into the crowd.

Mukuro made a quick mental note to check up on Junko later, just in case she got too drunk.

Junko would officially be too drunk only 10 minutes later.

But before we get to that, lets first talk about Sayaka.

Sayaka sat in the circle next to Ibuki. Mukuro was sitting directly across from her. Sayaka may or may not have caught Mukuro staring at her a few times.

Currently though, Sayaka was staring off into space. The gears in her head were starting to turn and very soon, the factory in her brain would shit out a seemingly innocent idea that would later help set off the chain of events leading to the worst most despairing trip around town in human history.

“I want,” She began, when the idea was finally formed. “To break a world record.”

Most of the people sitting in the circle turned to look at Sayaka. “What record do you wanna break?” Makoto, who sat on her other side, asked.

Sayaka thought about it for a moment. Then the second seemingly innocent idea popped out.

She stood up.

Only god knows why she felt the need to be so dramatic about this.

“I’m gunna break the world record for saying the word ‘pussy’ a bunch of times consecutively!” Sayaka practically screamed.

Anyone who heard the bullshit that just came out of her mouth burst into an uncontrollable fit of laughter. Even Sayaka herself was laughing like a maniac.

Once the laughter subsided however, Sayaka got serious again. “Okay I’m gonna fucking do it!” She told them. A chorus of woo’s and yeah’s followed her statement, encouraging her to actually do it.

“How many times must you speak this word in order to break the current record?” Gundham wondered. Every time Gundham spoke, Mukuro wanted to hang herself. Why the hell did he have to phrase everything like that?

“Uh, I don’t think that record actually exists yet.” Makoto pointed out.

“Well then, I guess I’m just going to have to set it, huh?” Sayaka responded. If you looked hard enough, you could almost see the sheer excitement radiating off of her. She really wanted to set this fucking weird ass world record. “Okay! Who wants to keep count while I do this?” She asked.

Before anyone else even had any time to process this question, Ibuki was already vigorously waving her hand in the air screaming, “IBUKI DOES! PICK IBUKI! PICK IBUKI! PICK IBUKI!”

And if course, Sayaka picked Ibuki. It took the two about three minutes to get completely prepared for Sayaka to set the world record. The rest of the group in the circle watched with bated breath as the two finally were ready. Ibuki raised both her fists a bit. She was seriously going to use her fingers to count. That’s when Mukuro realized this was a recipe for disaster.

Sayaka took a deep breath in and Ibuki seemed to almost tremble in anticipation. Dear god, they were really getting into this. The entire group broke out into fits of laughter again as Sayaka began.

“PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUS-“ Sayaka was cut off by a shrill scream coming from another room.

Pretty much everyone went silent after the scream rang out. After a few seconds, Ibuki shot up from the floor and said, “SORRY SAYAKA BUT IBUKI LOST COUNT ALSO IBUKI HAS TO GO SEE WHAT HAPPENED!” And with that, she ran off to find the source of the scream. Mukuro was quick to follow Ibuki, without a word.

“What the fuck!” Sayaka groaned. She stumbled out into the crowd after Mukuro, leaving the rest of the group to go on with whatever conversations they were holding before Sayaka screamed pussy about a bajillion times.

When Sayaka was finally able to catch up with Mukuro and Ibuki, both girls were standing over Mikan.

Because literally who else could have screamed that loud?

“What the fuck?” Sayaka repeated.

Mikan sat on the floor, soaking wet, head in her hands, and- _holy shit is she wearing a fanny pack? Jesus Christ what 17 year old wears a fanny pack?_ Sayaka tried her best not to judge but, like, come on. A fanny pack? You just can’t not judge that.

“What did Junko do this time?” Mukuro sighed.

“Wait, how do we know Junko is the one that did this?” Ibuki asked.

Mukuro looked at Ibuki like she had just said the stupidest thing Mukuro ever heard. To be fair though, she kinda did. “Because Junko is drunk and nowhere to be found.” She told Ibuki, rather than telling her she was a dumbass.

“That’s fair.” Ibuki responded. “So, Mikan, what did Junko do?”

Mikan sniffled and looked up at Ibuki and Mukuro. “It’s…It’s not a-a big deal or-or anything…” She whined. “Um…she just uh, she took my um, my favorite band-aids. Oh, and uh, and she ran off, uh somewhere?”

“Okay but why are you wet?” Mukuro asked. There was a pause before she said, “Actually, would I wanna know the answer to that question?”

There was another pause before Mikan answered. “Probably not…it doesn’t have anything to do with what happened anyways…so it doesn’t um, it doesn’t really matter.”

Sayaka began moving in closer to where the three other girls were so her voice would more likely be heard this time. “So, wait, the only reason you screamed so fucking loud was because of some band-aids? You interrupted me while I was trying to break a world record!” She was way more pissed off then she really should have been. Man, she really took that whole world record thing seriously.

Tears began to well up in Mikan’s eyes and she looked down at the floor. “They were um, he-hello kitty ones…” She practically sobbed.

As soon as the words came out of Mikan’s mouth, Ibuki gasped and screamed, “NOT THE HELLO KITTY ONES! THOSE ARE THE BEST ONES!” Sayaka rolled her eyes at Ibuki’s over the top reaction.

Mukuro took a deep breath. She had a horrible feeling about this. “Tsumiki, do you know which way Junko went?”

Mikan thought for a moment. “Um…up the stairs? Maybe uh…yeah, the um, the stairs I think?”

Mukuro sighed heavily. “Great. She’s probably in her room, looking in the mirror, putting them all over her face. Just like last week.” Mukuro began to prepare herself mentally for what she’d have to deal with when she finds Junko as she walked towards the stairs. Unfortunately for Mukuro, she would never be able to fully prepare for the shitstorm that was about to happen.

Ibuki helped Mikan up before following Mukuro.

“I’m still pissed at you Tsumiki,” Sayaka said as she and Mikan walked towards the stairs as well. “But I also really wanna see what’s about to happen.”

-

Mukuro’s prediction was only half right. She did find Junko in her room, putting the band-aids on herself while looking in the mirror, but unfortunately, the band-aids weren’t going on her face.

“Wonderful, this is just what I wanted to see.” Mukuro said as she walked in.

Junko excitedly turned to face Mukuro. “Oh! Sis! Perfect! I’m so drunk right now! I can’t even put these adorable band-aids on my nipples, that’s how drunk I am! Help me out!” Junko exclaimed.

Mukuro’s faced scrunched up. “Why?” She asked, despite knowing the answer was probably something that would haunt her nightmares for at least a few weeks.

Luckily, before Junko got to answer, there came three simultaneous screams. Ah, Mikan, Ibuki and Sayaka finally made it.

“WHAT THE FUCK?” Sayaka screamed, covering her eyes.

“JUNKO, WHY ARE YOUR TITS OUT?” Ibuki screamed. And for the record, she was totally staring right at Junko’s boobs. She denies it but Mukuro swears on her life Ibuki wasn’t even trying to take her eyes off them.

Mikan just screeched unintelligibly.

“Oh Mikan, shut the door please!” Junko said, ignoring the fact that she was standing there with her tits out. After a few seconds, Mikan finally processed Junko’s words and obliged, still blubbering like an idiot.

“FOR GODS SAKE JUNKO, PUT A SHIRT ON!” Sayaka yelled, earning a groan from Junko.

“Can one of you just fucking chill for one second and help a drunk girl put some hello kitty band-aids on her nipples? God, it’s like none of you have seen boobs before.”

“I think they’re all surprised because they’ve never seen fake boobs before.” Mukuro replied flatly. She could be pretty funny at times but boy did she suck at picking the right time to be funny.

“My boobs aren’t fucking fake! Stop being a bitch and put these mother fucking band-aids on my nipples like a good fucking sister!” Junko snapped.

“How am I a bitch? I didn’t steal my girlfriends favorite band-aids and run off to put them on my nipples.”

“That’s because you don’t have a girlfriend, ugly!”

“Junko, we’re identical twins. If we had the same haircut, we’d look almost exactly the same. You basically just called yourself ugly.”

“Whatever bitch, your just jealous cause I have a girlfriend and you don’t”

“No, I’m not!”

“Oh yeah, whatever you say ug-“ A shirt flying into Junko’s face interrupted her from finishing her insult. “Um, what the fuck?”

“No one wants to see your tits, Junko! Please just put the fucking shirt on!” Sayaka was still covering her eyes.

“Shut the fuck up! Mikan is loving this! Right babe?” Junko winked at Mikan. Mikan was still blubbering like an idiot, and her face was redder than a face biologically should be able to be. “Yeah, she’s totally lovin’ it. So Muku, you gonna put these band-aids on my nipples or what?”

Mukuro sighed and walked over to Junko, holding her hand out. “Fine, but why do you want band-aids on your nipples anyways?” She asked.

Giving Mukuro the box of band-aids, Junko replied, “Cause, dumbass, it’s super hot. I’ll walk out into the party and everyone will see me and be like, ‘OMG Junko, you look even hotter than you already are!’ and I’ll be like, ‘hell yeah!’ and it’ll be great!”

This statement finally got Ibuki to speak up again. “Wait…are you saying you’re gonna go out into the party like…with your boobs out?” She asked.

“My eyes are up here, Ibuki.” Junko said. Ibuki still didn’t stop staring at her boobs. She was very drunk and very gay. “But yeah. Well, kinda. Like, I’m gonna have my nipples covered so I think that pretty much counts, y’know?”

And with that, Mukuro stuffed the box of band-aids in her pocket. “Yeah, okay. That’s not happening.”

“YOU LITTLE CUNT!” Junko screeched, launching herself onto Mukuro.

“Holy shit.” Ibuki whispered as Junko beat her fists against Mukuro.

“Wait, what’s happening?” Sayaka asked, still covering her eyes.

“DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE” Junko was shouting over and over as she continuously punched Mukuro in the back. Mukuro seemed unaffected by the blows and halfheartedly tried to push Junko away.

“Junko, please calm down. I’m sure Tsumiki wants the band-aids back. And Maizono would probably like it if you put a shirt on. I’m sure you don’t really want to make them upset, right?” Mukuro told her sister, in an attempt to calm her down. However, it just made Junko angrier.

“I DON’T GIVE A SHIT! PUT THE BAND-AIDS ON MY FUCKING NIPPLES YOU USELESS BAG OF DICKS!” Junko screamed, clawing at Mukuro, trying to grab the box.

Once again, Mukuro sighed. She walked over to Mikan and handed her the box, ignoring Junko. “Here. If she takes it from you again, just call me. And Junko.” She turned back to look at her raging sister. “If you walk out there without a shirt, I will tape a shirt to you. I’ve done it before and I’ll do it again.” She said finally, before opening the door.

“Fine!” Junko exclaimed, finally not looking like she was about to kill someone. “But, I’m not gonna wear a bra!”

“Whatever.” Mukuro walked out into the hallway. She was quickly joined by Ibuki, who still looked stunned.

“Dude,” Ibuki said. “Did you notice that Junko was kinda wet too? What’s up with that?”

-

“I’m having that reoccurring dream again…”

“The one where everyone at school thinks you have the hots for Naegi?”

“No, no, not that one. I mean the one where Junko holds me down while Tsumiki pulls out one of my teeth.”

“Oh yeah, Ibuki forgot about that one! That’s pretty freaky.”

“Um, Ibuki, Ikusaba?” Sayaka meekly walked over to the drinks counter where Ibuki and Mukuro sat. “Have either of you seen Tsumiki?”

Ibuki shook her head. “Nope, not in like, an hour. Why?”

“Oh.” Sayaka frowned. “Well…um…when you two left the room after the whole…band-aid thing…uh, Junko and I kinda um, yelled at her a lot. And she seemed really upset about it. It’s been a while since then and we haven’t seen her at all…I’m starting to get worried. Junko even tried calling her, but she didn’t answer.”

Ibuki just nodded. “Yeah, she probably ran off. She’s most likely chilling at the abandoned hospital.” She said, like it was a completely normal sentence.

“The what now?” Sayaka asked.

“Well there’s this old hospital that Mikan loves hanging out in. It’s way too scary for Ibuki, but it seems to make Mikan feel better so Ibuki doesn’t judge. Anyways, since she’s upset she’s probably in there.” Ibuki replied, again, as if this was something normal.

“Abandoned hospital? Now that’s what I’m talkin’ about!” Junko appeared next to Ibuki and Mukuro, seemingly out of nowhere, making all three of the other girls jump.

“Mukuro, get your keys!”

“Of course I have to drive a bunch of drunk people to a creepy abandoned hospital,” Mukuro muttered, slipping off the counter.

“Ibuki, you get to lead the way!” Junko exclaimed.

Ibuki slid off the counter and began chanting, “Roadtrip! Roadtrip! Roadtrip!”

“Come on Sayaka,” Junko said, pulling on Sayaka’s arm. “Let’s go find my girlfriend and yell at her some more!”

“You mean apologize to her, right?”

“Yeah! Let’s go with that!”

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading i hate myself and the next chapter will be out probably like in a fucking while this shit is gonna be long as fuck i cant ever write something short alsoooo the ndrv3 characters will be in the fic too just laterr uhhh my tumblr is @sayakuro feel free to yell at me if ii take too lonng to update this or whatever anyways thanks again im ggonna commit noww


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